Thursday, December 25, 2008

Egads! Ajads! or My new Line of Pickles coming soon.

This year for Jesus' birthday I made my Pop's something special. Pickles. Not just any pickles, mind you these are Thai pickles. Steph just asked me what made these pickles Thai. My answer: "With Thailand in your heart any recipe is a Thai recipe." For reals though, I adapted a recipe for a Thai cucumber salad to make these pickles. The basic ingredients are the same but I changed the recipe into a jar of pickles instead because there's just something so dad-tastic about ripping open a jar of pickles and going for it. At least that's how I see my dad anyway. As to the ingredients I used some manner of small fancy cucumber, rice vinegar, shallots, garlic, sliced lime, salt, sugar, coriander powder, red chili flakes and plenty o' mutha fuckin' Birdseye Chilies. Holy fuck do I love these little bastards! A lot! I just hope my dad does too. I'm not sure if I put one too many in or not seeing as how I have nary a functioning taste bud nor have I had the opportunity to taste one because they've been busy getting their pickle on. I'd really hate to see my dads ulcer come home from vacation or the roof of his mouth cave in. 

These fuckers are hot yo!   

Thai peeps call the salad Ajad. I call Ajad, Pickles. And that's a perfect segue to my rather obvious choices in labeling. For the decorative if not charming label I chose a picture of myself, in Thailand no less. I thought that on one hand my Pop's would sure appreciate a picture of his grown son adorning his food. On the other hand I felt the look of the the photo really says "Thailand!" Especially since I wrote pickles in a fake Thai looking font. If these taste as good as they look you can bet that in the near future you'll be seeing them on store shelves soon enough bearing said label. 

UPDATE: I gave these to my Pops, and I mentioned they were Thai pickles, but I failed to mention the fact that these were SPICY pickles (RE: super hot Thai Chilies running rampant within the jar). So my Mom apparently thought these were pickled green beans and took a huge chomp out of one. She said her mouth was ablaze for hours and for added effect she managed to rub her eye and set that on fire as well. My Mom is an off the charts Non Spicy eater of things. As torturous and excruciating as that experience must have been for her and as badly as I felt about it for not providing ample warning I must say that was classic. Not to mention that she found it amusing in retrospect. 

 The Spice must flow....................Just not from our arses.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Warm n Toasty

A most apropos title non? After all the weather is quite lame and staying warm is at a premium. But let me first go off topic and then coyly attempt, and fail miserably, to tie things together. 

This weekend Steph and I threw down a wicked Sunday brunch consisting of food items masquerading as other food items. And yes, on the surface that has precious little to do with a fucking "SPICY" blog.  Are you so quick to judge my intentions? Tsk Tsk! For I have a story to tell. Like I said, this weekend, brunch, food was served. One of the most creative submissions was done by our buddy Guapo. He made Nachos, or so you think. They totally looked like delicious, yum-tastic Nachos, but of course in staying true to the theme he had made the most sickeningly sweet, cavity inducing chaos on a platter. The chips actually were homemade tortilla chips dredged in cinnamon and sugar. Like black beans on your Nachos? How about mini chocolate chips instead. Salsa you say? Try candied cherries in shades of red, green and white simmering in a fructose ooze instead. I think by now you've probably been able to eliminate cheese as part of the offering on your own so thankfully I can cease with the infomercial style ingredient introductions. In lieu of cheese he shaved a fresh mango to give it an otherworldly cheese-tastic appearance. And lastly since he is an avid fan of sour cream's existence he had to add that as well, rather he added Dulce de Leche as it's stand in. So far this dish looked amazing but taste wise it was bordering on the hinterlands of ridiculous. It was that sweet.  
Ok, ok so make with the Hot, Hot, Hot already. Guapo knew that this would be a challenge to anyone with a functioning palette to handle so he hatched a plan to cut the sweetness with a little spice and that's where my new friend Jalapeno Jelly comes in. What an amazing idea, mixing jalapenos with gelatin and sugar topped off with a little leprechaun green food grade dye for good measure. So he mixed it in and oddly enough it worked. It worked so well that he had to mix Steph her own bowl, sans Jalapeno Jelly because she felt it was indeed "a little bit spicy." Noted. Regardless of this fact the Nachos were more for show and less for eating. But, he did do a bang up job with them. What's more is that he left me the jar of Jalapeno jelly, for research purposes. One fine day I will try this stuff on a nice piece of toast. As to whether or not I actually get past the first bite that's neither here nor there. 

The Spice must flow....................Just not from our arses.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Ode to fast foods that feature Jalapenos

There are few things in life I truly relish in this life like that of food which will eventually kill you. With Jalapenos. Oh Jalapeno your toothsome bite and Leprechaun skin makes me giddy. Be you pickled or fresh, I love you. You're so readily available. When I can't find Tears of Fire or a Bangalore Torpedo at one in the morning, you are there, reassuring me.  You are the shaggy hound standing ever by my side. You are my best friend. 

Seriously though. I really like stuff with Jalapenos involved. Yeah, I like other hotter and more exotic peppers more. But, Jalapenos are just so prevalent. I also have a penchant for horrible fast food. I feel like that when these two items are cross bred they are destined for my stomach and all parts of me preceding and after. Probably my favorite fast food Jalapeno based item is the Jack in the Box Jalapeno popper. OMG! These are delicious. They come in a 3 or a generous 7 piece size which suits my preference for odd numbered items. They are coated in a crunchy batter and filled with molten cheddar cheese like and flavored, most likely dairy based goo. Heaven. Then you get the further pleasure of dipping these little bastards into Jack's ranch sauce. Normally I hate ranch dressing, but there's just something about this flavor combination......ahhh Umami! Another fast food item that I just love involving Jalapenos is one which sadly isn't even available here in California. It is the venerable White Castle slider with pickled Jalapenos to give this classic staple of late night eating a bit of fun and flare. "Sack of Ten please!!!!!!" Luckily I get to have these beauties when I go visiting family in Minneapolis. When I lived there I never knew how good I had it. I lived a block away from a White Castle and I took it for granted. Oh the humanity you can find in a White Castle at 3 a.m., and the cheeseburgers too.

The Spice must flow....................Just not from our arses.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

My Bánh mì is keepin' it straight gangster

Normally I don't eat lunch when I'm at my job. Sometimes I might make a peanut butter sammich, and I don't even really like peanut butter. I do this because I'm cheap, and because I don't want fat globules to congeal in my gut while I do nothing for four more hours but sit and clickity clack on the keyboard. Hey, I'm almost 34 and I hate working out so something has got to give. Today was different. I said to myself, "fuck you peanut butter. I'm having a Vietnamese sammich." And I totally did. The Vietnamese make what turns out to be pretty much my favorite sandwich, EVER! The sandwiches consist of some super high quality french bread. Um French Bread? Vietnam? Yeah. the French owned that shit for quite a while. Study up on your history peeps. I once heard that when the British would leave a former colony they would leave behind infrastructure. But, when the French would leave a colony they'd leave their cooking. Thus we have baguettes in Vietnam. Damn good ones too. The sandwich also typically has pickled carrots, which give it color and a kick ass bite. Also there is Pate, and normally I hate pate, but in this case it's not bad. There are several meat options, usually pork or chicken but I opted for the Vietnamese Ham. OMG! The picture above doesn't even do it justice. This was the most electric pink and red meat I have ever seen. Epic! The Vietnamese peeps seem to like Mayo, because every one of these I've ever had always has plenty of it. So far your saying to yourself "What the fuck does this have to do with spicy foods?" Thanks for being patient. The girl behind the counter asked me if I wanted it spicy. I said "You bet I do!" She handed me a sammich loaded with little volatile green disks of fresh Jalapeno. The Vietnamese Sandwich is great because it's kind of like the ragtop of sandwiches. You can be all mid-life crisis like and if you feel the need to be a little flashy, put on a thumb ring and go riding around with the top down then you can certainly go all the way with the jalapenos. Or you can be a little bit more conservative, and keep the top up and leave the Jalapenos out all together. Either way it doesn't change the overall sandwich experience. It really is a food both the spicy and non spicy among us can easily enjoy. Even better you're not going to piss off anyone preparing your food because they have to jump through all kinds of various hoops in order to make or unmake your sandwich spicy. You special snowflake you. 

Spice must flow....................Just not from our arses.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I think your Pani is touching my Puri.

Monday ended up being rando "let's go to Dosa" night. It started out as "let's go to Pizzeria Delfina" night, but that's neither here nor there. Dosa is a South Indian restaurant in the Mission. It totally rules.  Dosa's menu goes above and beyond the usual Chicken Tikka, which also normally totally rules. Just wait til' we end up at Nann and Curry some night at 2 a.m. for that post but it will be less about spice and more about who ended up with a case of butt soup. But, I digress. We ended up ordering a ton of food. Yes, a full metric ton of food. Although we asked for the "mild" versions of everything. What? Yes I fucking said mild! What am I some kind of asshole who makes everyone who should happen to be dining with me suffer chili burns? Sheesh!   Whatevs. According to the girly stomachs that accompanied me to dinner (sorry Oliver. You're all bro. dude. Just not your stomach. Your stomach is totally traveling pants.) everything was at least a little spicy. Except. The Pani Puri. Pani Puri is not only extremely fun to say, it's also mutha fuckin' delicious! The waitress, or excuse me, server seemed surprised that I knew the deal with the Pani Puri, and no I've never dated an Indian girl. Anyway, I wish would have been able to use the "Oh yes, Pani Puri. Delicious isn't it? I used to eat the stuff all the time when I was on my sabbatical. Spent a year on a camels back in India." Yeah I would never actually say something like that. So what's a Pani Puri anyway? Pani Puri are these little crispy hollow puffs that you crack open and put garbanzo beans, lentils, and potatoes into. The best part is that you fill it up with a spiced water. At Dosa they serve two kinds. For me a mint and chili water. It was super hot and yummy. They also gave us a tamarind water which according to Steph was in fact not spicy and yummers. The verdict was in. Pani Puri rules for sharing amongst spicy and non spicy peeps alike. Yaayyyy!!!!!

The Spice must flow....................Just not from our arses.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Gah! Gag me with a Gored Gored!

This post has it all. Spicy food, not so spicy food, action, adventure, love, hate, and an embarrassing near death experience. So Sunday night was Eritrean slash Ethiopian night. So, we rounded up some peeps and headed out to my favie spot in the Inner Sunset, New Eritrea, for a fine meal of food. Who knew it could be my last. Excited yet?  Let me just say, we put a huge fucking dent in that menu up yo! We started off like serious ballers, and had all three of the Sambusas, a ground beef, a lentil and a veggie. A Sambusa is basically pretty similar in concept to any of your 'egg roll-esque, Samosa-y' deep fried appetizers. The nice thing about these is that they come in a non spicy format, but as if they knew me they included a yummy, spicy vat of Harissa on the side. Oh red chili paste how I adore thee. Next came a ton of food whose names escape me at this moment, but for those unfamiliar with the format of consumption in Ethiopia and Eritrea, all the food is pretty much a stew and is served on top of a giant sour pancake called, Injera, family style. You take a pinch of the Injera and use that as an unleavened utensil. Most of the food was fairly mild, as I was in such company that that was of crucial importance. However, I did order a spoiler, a beast of a beefy dish called Gored Gored, which sounds like the name of a really sweet god of war type deity from Conan. I needed the hot n' spicy on this night, but it would be my undoing as you will soon find out. Gored Gored is basically chunks of steak in a spicy Harissa laden butter sauce. Unfortunately, they brought it out on the same plate as the other dishes and it's spicy, rouge-y, delicio-city was constantly mounting cross border assaults into the completely unaware chicken dish on the left. It was like watching Hitler invade Poland all over again. The fowl didn't stand a chance. Needless to say I was less popular than before the meal began because of this. The conversation was flowing and My first bite of Gored Gored was tasty and that's when it got weird. Suddenly, I went to swallow like I've been doing every meal for damn near 34 years, and my stupid Gored gets lodged in my throat. I kept trying to swallow it, but no luck. I then realized I really couldn't breathe so well. Naturally I thought that a swig of mah fine Eritrean brewski would help. Bad idea because that didn't go down either. At this point I must have looked a bit distressed because peeps began to ask if I was "okay?" I couldn't find the words to answer, mostly because I couldn't talk. At this point people say their lives flash before their eyes. What flashed before mine was the gripping fear of creating a huge scene in the middle of a restaurant and puking on the table or passing out on the floor. I've seen this happen before and it wasn't pretty. However, in these cases I do believe the food is on the house. I could have taken one for the team in that case, but instead I opted to go off and die in quiet dignity, on the sidewalk. On the way out the beer kind of came up in my hand, which was gross. I was only outside for a few seconds and I overcame my ordeal just as one the peeps came to see if I was cool. I was cool. A little bit scared to be honest and a little more respectful of the Gored Gored. The thinly veiled message I have tried to impart to you is: Chew your food bitches!

I had planned to bring the Holga but I forgot it so the pic above is some rando's labor of love. 

 The Spice must flow....................Just not from our arses.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Adventures at Safeway

I went to the store tonight to get an exciting list of items including yogurt for the dogs, eggs that will be mostly for the dogs, creamer for tea, Drayno and a flea comb, also for the dogs. As I took a detour through the U.N. of grocery store isles otherwise known as the "ethnic foods" section I saw it. There it was on a low slung ankle high shelf. It called to me, it beckoned to me. My Datu Puti love affair was about to begin. Datu Puti graces our shores all the way from the Philippine Islands. Bear in mind that I am not as familiar with Philippine foods as I am with other Asiatic tasty yum yums. I've tried a few different dishes and, meh. I do enjoy the Adobo, but beyond that, I dunno. Datu Puti is basically white vinegar with chilies and garlic. What more do you need? Not much. I intend to whip up something using Datu Puti very soon. Also Datu Puti is real fun to say. I cracked open this rather sizable bottle and tried one of the peppers and I have to say it was a delicious bit of spicy goodness. On a side note making an infused vinegar is pretty easy and I could have done this myself but the label is far to awesome to not be in our kitchen. 

The Spice must flow....................Just not from our arses.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Cauldron of Doom!

On Friday night the Steph and I went to dinner with our peeps Esther and Oliver, or henceforth Est-liver (thank you for din-dins guys!), to the Royal Teppan Steak House in Cupertino for a little Hot Pot. This place is located in small little strip mall complex that sort of makes you feel as though you've landed in Taipei or Hong Kong, without your passport. It's just loaded with so much Asia-rificness. The staff at the restaurant barely spoke English to make it more authentic. But what about the food? Ah yes, Hot Pot is sort of like fondue except that it's China-tastic, and they don't fuck with cheese or chocolate. Hot Pot is also a very sexy thing to say to a girl as there is much innuendo that can be experimented with. Such as, if you are on a date and you can tell you're going to score a good way to seal the deal is lean over the boiling vat of broth and say something like "ahh girl, I'd like to be dipped into your Hot Pot!" Like I said, it's pretty much a closer. Also, Hot Pot is known by it's much more whimsical Japanese name, Shabu Shabu, which is just way, way more fun to say Hot Pot. Although not as sexy on the surface, knowing the term Shabu Shabu, and being able to use it in a conversation with Fobby Japanese girls can get your foot in the door to possible Japanese lady action. For example let's say the next time you're hanging, make that lurking, around the Purikura place in Japantown it would be a step in the right direction if you were to ask that Fruits girl who's caught your eye "hey, where can a guy get some good Shabu Shabu around here?" And with that you're halfway there. One of t he great things about Hot Pot is that it's a perfect meal for peeps from vastly different sides of the spice spectrum. If you ask for a half and half they will bring out a pot that has a partition and in one side will be a spice benign yet flavorful broth full of onions and Napa cabbage. On  the other side will be a lavenous vat of fiery hell! Know it by the color of a fire engine and the chili oil sheen of a tanker spill. I was being told actually I was being dared to try the hottest level possible, but the server sort of balked and insisted I try medium. I like to push my own boundaries and I like some heat in every bite but I still like to taste my food. Suffice it to say the Medium was sufficient and was delicious. Although Oliver, a confessed non spicy and as yet unrated  on the spicy scale peep tried valiantly to give it a go and was dispatched quickly with a spice laden blow to the head. Good try son, good try. We ordered squid, lamb, pork, chicken, beef, kidneys and pork blood. Also it was buy one get one free meat night. We had a veritable slaughter house on our table. But we did get some veggies and noodles too. You can also ask for a raw egg which you mix into your dipping sauce to give it a bit more texture. Delightful! Eventually your broth tends to disappear and the servers come around with a refill. On my side she sort of went to town and the result was anything but medium. It was now an absurdly rougey affair. Amazingly it was also a science experiment as the almost purely water based side was at a nice roiling bubbly boil. My side however just sort of sat there and did nothing as if to say to the flame below (for literary purposes only as it was an induction burner) "Your heat is not needed here for I am alight with chilies bright and igneous." In fact i am fairly certain that my side was actually boiling their side. It was at this point that I'd reached a threshold. The heat had indeed buried the flavor. I could dip a piece of cow or a piece of squid and each would taste the same. The advanced level of  capsaicin permeated cracks in my lips and caused me to wince a little bit.  I am not a proud person. I did find it to be spicy but I wasn't sweating it. Hot Pot yummy, Hot Pot good! 

Yes there were photos taken as well as video and as soon as i get them uploaded I'll post them. They really make a statement. But as per usual I have pilfered some photos from other peeps.
Oh look at me on the right in this picture! Notice how the spicy Hot Pot has put a manly or "mandsome" moustache on my upper lip. 

These peeps obviously aren't us but I'd say their enjoyment represents our groups overall enthusiasm for "Hot Pot." I feel like the guy on the right would be cast to play me in the TV movie of my life. 

Yeah, that's pretty much your full blown "Hot Pot" right there. Note the nuclear option on the right. I love it!

The Spice must flow....................Just not from our arses. (And no I did not have to camp out on the toilet the next day. It was all good. The "hot in, hot out" thing is a myth.)

Friday, October 17, 2008

achaar-ry or Damn girl! Your Hot Mango Pickle is bhangin!

Last night was semi-rando "Indian Cultural Edibles and Bhangra Appreciation Night." We ordered up a little India Clay Oven, and had that shit delivered yo! Anyway, yeah, we had Tikka Masala and some other Chicken Curry, and yes those are perhaps the whitest (re: least adventurous) things on the menu but at least the curry, which was of the Punjabi variety, was real nice and spicy. Steph got the mild Tikka, and it still burned her delicate mouth lining a lil' bit. Mild is a relative term. On to the crux of the message I am trying to deliver to you. One of my recent foodie love affairs is with Indian pickles called Achaar, espesh the mango variety. By the gods, these are delicious! OK, to be honest the first time I tried them, I hated them! These pickles are made from bits of mango, garlic, onions, and yep, HOT PEPPERS!!!!! soaked in salty oil instead of vinegar. But what do they taste like? Hmmm, a fine question indeed. To put it simply first you get socked in the maw by a very, very salty taste. Once that subsides, which is never, then you get slapped like Brenda Walsh would do to Dylan by the sour mangoes. Wait, it gets better because then the demon peppers start to commit unspeakable acts of horror. they'll call your mom in the middle of the night heavy breathing and the like just before telling her you got fired today, even though you said you didn't want to worry her and that you'd tell her in your own time and thus just creating an awkward situation for everyone but the peppers because they have just hung up on her and are now reveling in the misery they've caused (of course, since the spice affects me not I'm actually the one goading the peppers on in this case.). So why would you eat these crazy things? I dunno they just taste delicious to me and especially with a beer. I managed to find a jar of these at the store and I will be back for seconds. They're of British derivation and the brand is Patak's

 The Spice must flow....................Just not from our arses.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Hispanic Cup o Noodles: ENCHILOSA

Try not to look so excited.
Try not to look so excited.

One time at Safeway ... I got really excited about taking home this box of instant noodles. Maybe it was the fat and sodium content that made me so giddy. I'm always up for something that's going to slowly kill me.

Sorry it's blurry. It's to hide the bad news.
Sorry it's blurry. It's to hide the bad news.

I've had this in my cupboard for a while, and today was The Day.

I boiled water in the Holy Hot Hot, and peeled back the noodle cup lid.

I kind of freaked out at this point because I could SMELL the spicyness.

I know I should have taken the obvious chili graphics on the box as an indication. But at the time I thought that was just decorative, and not any indication of actual heat.

How did it taste?

Ok, I lied. Two or three bites later, and my mouth was blowing up. I will not be revisiting the Enchilosa, but this means that I can eat almond M&M's to make up for all that loss in fat intake. WIN!

The Spice must flow....................Just not from our O-rings.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Ko-Rhea Fud

On Friday night we'd just dropped our buddy Oliver off at SFO and Esther was left in our care as she is new to SF and didn't have much to do. Thus it decided that eating was the way to go. I'm always open to suggestion and Sushi had come up, but I was in the mood for something more substantial and then  it hit me. I was in the mood for some Korean. The trouble with Korean is that it tends to be a little rough on the Spice Campers as there's just so damn much spice in just about everything. Steph likes Korean, and agrees that it is tasty, but I just feel bad when something I asked the staff to make "non spicy" invariably ends up being laden with the hot stuff. 
We usually get the Korean BBQ, you know the kind where they basically bring a tray of hot coals to the table and you cook your own meat. This is very delicious, and not spicy on it's own. But, on this night I had no desire to smell like grilled meat nor did we feel like shelling out too much dough. So what the hell was I going to convince Steph and Esther to eat that wouldn't make them miserable. Then it hit me Dol Sat Bibimbap. this stuff is delicious. It's rice, meat, some veggies topped with a raw egg in a super hot stoneware dish. It gives the rice a nice crust on the bottom and cooks the egg. Lucky girls. 

What did I have? Only the most tasty and yes, spicy dish on the menu called Doenjang- Jiigae. It's basically a spicy miso stew with tofu, beef, onions, potatoes and delicious ja
jalapenos. I didn't stop there. I added a liberal amount of Gochuchung, which is spicy red pepper paste. It was served in the same stoneware as the Bibimbap and it made me sweaty and my nose was running. I gave it a huge thumbs up. 
Also, as per usual. I never think to bring the camera, so no these aren't my pics. 

The Spice must flow....................Just not from our arses.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Spice Girls

The things you learn because of the power of hot sauce are sometimes amazing. As I was settling into my Mongolian cow for lunch today my pre-eat preparations caught a coworker off guard . "Wow you sure put a lot of Sriracha sauce on your food!" Damn right I do. She went on to exclaim that she cannot handle the spicy food, but she did inform me of a very awesome mecca for spice in Oakland and it's called SPICE GIRLS!!!!! The caveat is that this is the translation from Chinese to English and she is unsure of the English name for the place. Also she could only give an approximate location. I have sent her out to do some recon as I refuse to rocket up and down the streets of Oakland on a mission to find a restaurant whose name is in a moon language I do not speak. Even in the name of spice I will not do this. We could be on the cusp of a great spicy adventure! More to come.

Oh, have you had your Sriracha sauce today? Let me just douse your afternoon with a little, yum yum. (The pic is not mine, but wow what a great hand modeling job! I am mega-jealous.)

The Spice must flow....................Just not from our arses.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008


Last night when conjuring up an idea of how to blow $50 on ingredients for one meal at Whole Foods (Soon to be released in paperback) I had no real direction in mind. All I knew was that whatever I made had to incorporate the eggplant that was residing in our fridge at the moment. So, I searched through my cookbooks, and just kept coming up with eggplant Parmesan. Boring! Anyway, we happened to be watching Bizarre Foods at the time and we overheard Andrew Zimmer drop a wicked fresh quote: "Uhh, I need to wash that down with some Vindaloo!" So off I went to Whole Foods with Vindaloo on the brain. The only thing is Vindaloo is usually pretty spicy, which will not fly for Steph and her gutty-wots. The task was simple, in theory, how do I make Vindaloo and make it mild? Hmmm, well we did have about 3 cartons of heavy whipping cream in our fridge and as any spicy fan knows it's dairy that takes the edge off the burn (MR. T says: "don't drink that water FOOL!"). So I made the bastard love child between a curry and a vindaloo. Did I successfully complete my challenge?

Me: "Is it too spicy?"

Steph: "Not in my mouth, but my throat is burning! I get milk!"

Failed. But I did manage to sneak the eggplant in, much to the chagrin of any seasoned Indian chef.

The moral of this tale is that I should never plan a menu while watching either Andrew Zimmer or Anthony Bourdain because I start to salivate watching them eat all that delicious street food in crazy countries I want to visit.

(The Vindaloo pictured above is not mine, but it looks tasty enough to post)

The Spice must flow....................Just not from our arses.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

My new Fav Chips and Salsa combo. Holy Fuck are these good!

So there I am at Bi-Rite in the Mission when I discover these chips that look thick, golden and laden with salt like little pack mules in a salt mine. Don't get me started about the oily sheen, because they have that too.  These chips are by a company out of Sonoma called Primavera that seems to pride themselves on small batches using fresh ingredients. They also seem to pride themselves on the fact this little bag of bitch ass chips cost me 6 bucks. I am p-whipped on gourmet foods, and even though these chips would cheat on me the first chance they get and then ask to borrow money from me even though I know I'm a sucker for doing it, but I do it because they are FUCKING DELICIOUS CHIPS!!!!! Um, let's move onto the salsa. This stuff is dynamite, liquid dynamite and some surly drunken gold miner guy has just pushed that old-timey plunger thing and the salsa just went Kaboom with flavor all over my walls and even the ceiling which is going to be a horrible bitch to clean up but it's so worth it because this salsa is also FUCKING AWESOME!!!!!! It's not super hot, suitable for the Spice Cadet in your life.  Anyway the next time you feel like spending 11 bucks on chips and salsa, which would buy a controlling share in a taco joint just outside of Tijuana, this is the chips and salsa to spend it on.

The Spice must flow....................Just not from our arses.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Tom Kha in the Can! Bitches

I felt that leading off with the term "Bitches" was a good way of letting everyone know, in a modern parlance, that we mean business about our spices.

On to the post, and a brief one it is. But, it is a relevant post.

I made the Tom Kha pictured below for Steph the other night and she confirmed "it's a little spicy." We had the following exchange just to put it into context:

Me: "How is it?"

Steph: "It's a little spicy."

Soon after this I discovered the reason for the apparent spiciness. The fire engine red thermo nuclear Thai chili that comes in each can. Hoo-Raay!!! (Or is it Hu-Raay?)

The Spice must flow....................Just not from our arses.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Spicy Japanese Eats? Are you Serious?

I took my Fondu Victory homie / biz partner to Katana Ya on Geary st. last night. Man, I dig that place! For those not in the know, and until recently I was not in the know, Katana Ya is a little funky Ramen joint and it's totally staffed by fobby girls. The noodles are delish and there are three soup bases to choose from, salt, miso or soy sauce. Now on to why this place is getting play on this bloggy. They have a dish called "Extra Spicy Ramen" and under the picture reads a caption, which I will paraphrase for you, "Can you handle it?" Challenge accepted as I believe I can handle it. I go with the miso base because I like the texture. The steamy bowl arrives and the broth is fire engine red and choc full of pepper flakes. Score! This is delish! It is pretty good and spicy and I devour the whole thing. Yum! Also, another cool thing about this place is that they have refreshing Sapporo on tap which is a tasty accompaniment. One thing about Katana is that unlike a typical Ramen house, it's not exactly cheap, but hey 8 bucks isn't too bad I suppose.

On a side note, as I have said to Steph many times I want to go to China with her and eat the nuclear spicy hot pot that I saw Anthony Bourdain eat on No Reservations. That and eat stinky tofu from a street vendor.
Also, please note the picture isn't mine, nor is it what I actually ate but I figured adding a picture is what people want. I give of myself to the people.

Spice must flow....................Just not from our arses.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

If you dip Chip into Salsa, it's really tasty.

Ok, this is the most delicious store bought chips n' salsa combo ever. Have'a Chips are delightful and they come in a fun sized bag. They are super cheap and are flavored with soy sauce and lime. Yum. The salsa is La Cascada (whatever that means?). It's not very hot, it says medium on the container, but it's very flavorful and cilantro-y. I highly recommend this combo.

The Spice must flow....................Just not from our arses.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Who's up for some hot sauce?

The hot sauce taste test.

The Spice must flow....................Just not from our arses.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Cadet Corps

If you want to be a part of the cadet corps, which is a silly way to say "contributor" then just email us and we'll add you as a contributor so that you may post your adventures as well. We'll be a big spicy, gassy, space commune.

The Spice must flow....................Just not from our arses.

Pretzel Time at the Monks Kettle

So last night we ended up going to The Monks Kettle in the Mission, simply because it was late, we'd never tried it and I was kinda hungry for meats! As Steph is not a beer drinker, this isn't exactly the spot for her but again it was open. However, where the hell else can you get a giant soft pretzel with cheese and mustard at 11 PM on a Monday? I defy you to find another place. With that being said, there were no spicy adventures or tales to tell. So why the post you say? Well, I include it for one reason; Steph inquired about the spiciness of the Stone Ground Mustard. "Is that mustard spicy?" I said "nope." So sorry to be anti climactic.

The Spice must flow....................Just not from our arses.

Monday, August 11, 2008

The Launching

So, here we go on our little journey to find out every ones "Ouch, that ish is effing burning mah tongue" threshold. Some can hack the heat and some can't. So what happens when peeps from different ends of the spectrum dine together? Who takes the back seat in their spice enjoyment? What restaurants and recipes can you relay to us so that we may discover that Shangri La where the uber hot and uber mild can coexist, where everyone is a winner, where as written in the prophecy that when the three suns meet a shard will be replaced in the Dark Crystal Chili to restore harmony and balance in the Spice Universe ......... You get the idea. Anyway, you might feel more comfortable in one of the Spice Odyssey t-shirts you'll see below.

The Spice must flow....................Just not from our bums.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Episode 1 - Burma Superstar

Ok, so I suppose I'd like to start off by saying this post is originally from 5/10/08 and was sort of a quickie. But with that being said by all means go ahead and read it and pretend like we just posted it. Then please feel free to comment with your opinion. 

Greetings Spice Warriors. Your spice host and hostess have news for you. Tonight we visited a veritable hotbed of potential spicy / non spicy coexistence, Burma Superstar. This little Clement St. hot spot just hasn't been on our radar , mostly because we are uber lazy and we don't get over that way too often. But I digress, because we got spice to discuss. We ordered four dishes beginning with a tea leaf salad, which had a spice factor of nil (Spice Camper). Next we had some pea shoots which were in a garlic sauce, and we might as well not even mention this dish in terms of spiciness. Ok, moving on to the samusas which are very much the same as samosas. Here we came to a fork in the road as the actual samusas are simply potato and curry filled and yet very mild. Steph was able to eat two of them without so much as a drink of water (which actually makes the heat worse. Milk that's what you really want. But water just sounds sounds better from a writing perspective)However, it came with a red chili sauce that had a bit of a spice cadet factor that i found enjoyable. With that dish we both won. Lastly, we had Nan Gyi Dok (mild coconut chicken and rice noodle curry) and when they said mild, they meant it. (totally Spice Camp). Steph wins again. All in all a very delicious adventure and one that Spice Campers can certainly enjoy. Spice overlords will be heading home in search of a habanero to gnaw on