Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Makin' Curry Ain't Nuthin' Ta Fuck With!

I cook curry like a mad alchemist. Turmeric dust turning coconut milk to gold. Yeah I like making curry. I don't fuck with store bought paste, although there are some decent ones available for people like you who are terrible at making curry. I feel like sharing, sharing the wisdom of curry and that is where I begin my story.

Tonight I declared it the second day of a 'Curry Night.' Yesterday was just all wrong and we ate ramen instead, but tonight was perfect. A perfect night for some super pumpkin curry. Here's how I do it.

Firstly, I make my own paste. I use a slightly Cambodian version which tends to not rely on chilies for flavor. What? I left out the chilies you say? Yeah, because my lady as you know by now doesn't fuck with the spicy so what I do is make the paste non spicy and then I doctor mine up later. This system works out well for everyone. Anyway, the paste.

Kaffir Lime Leaves
Fermented Fish paste (Prahok)

All of these fun things go in the food processor and whirled into a thick paste.

Next you'll drop a small amount of oil in a pan and then you'll proceed to roast the paste until the color darkens. Hey, don't be stupid and burn it either.

P.S. You don't have to roast all of your paste. You can certainly keep some in the freezer for future curry nights.

Once you've come this far you're in good shape. Put your paste, fav meats and veggies, and coconut milk into a stock pot or slow cooker and simmer it until it's awesome. Oh yeah tonight I had left over pumpkin so added it as well. I also scored a Thai eggplant which is a small greenish variety. I threw a parsnip in just show the curry I meant business.

As it begins to simmer and reduce a bit I'll start to add some fish sauce to boost the flavor. I like fish sauce a great deal so I go to town with this, but then again I know what's up. You, not so much.

Finally I get ready to serve. Always with jasmine rice, which you'd probably somehow fuck up even in a rice cooker.

But before I serve let me take a couple of minutes to explain a little sauce I always make on the side. It's a Thai sauce called Prik Nam Pla. It's made using fish sauce, sugar, garlic, lime juice, chilies. Yeah it's rad. It has all of the flavors associated with yumminess. It has sweet, salty, sour, spicy. It's only missing bacon. Anyway I usually will dress a salad with this or I'll serve it with fresh carrots and cucumbers like I did tonight. Also I put a few spoonfuls onto my curry along with a metric ton of fucking cilantro and some roasted peanuts don't hurt either. Sweet!

Anyway that's curry as I see it. The Pics below are semi instructional but they are also not very well composed, nor are they of a very high quality. They were a total afterthought as my iPhone was just sitting there. I suppose I could have edited them a little and made them a little prettier, but fuck it. You don't deserve it. Enjoy!

Oh yeah BTW. Yours truly just bought a jar of fried Thai chili paste and I loaded up on that shit and it was fucking brilliant!

The Spice must flow....................Just not from our arses.