Friday, February 13, 2009

Hic-c-ups of burning.

I dropped by one of my go to late night Thai spots and ordered a steamy to-go box of Pad Kee Mao which is basically flat rice noodles stir fried with ground meat, garlic, green beans and thai basil. Yeah, it's way tasty! The girl who took my order asked and I said "spicy." When you say spicy here, they don't play! I took a large bite and "kapow!" I'd just been leveled by a case of debilitating spice induced hiccups. It happens sometimes when I eat the super spicy stuffs. They come fast and loud and makes talking a little bit difficult. Needless to say I'd rather I didn't have to share this odd little trait of mine with anybody. However, if there is someone I'm completely comfortable with sharing this quirk it's Steph and there she was sitting there minding her own business when I started going to town. The look on her face was more in the vein of scientific curiosity than pity. You have to appreciate her candor. The hiccups soon subsided but not to be out done, my nose started running like a bastard. On this night ye spice gods were offended. It was still a tasty heap of noodles though.

The Spice must flow....................Just not from our arses.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Great Balls of Fire in "The" Portland.

                                             Mmmmmmmmm!!!! Fiery Balls of  Greatness!

On whatever night it's on the television I was watching one of my fav new programs, Man vs. Food, a true tribute to that least terrible of deadly sins, gluttony, in it's purest uncut form.  Said show follows one man on his foodie hobbit quest to tackle that utterly iconic swatch of innocent babe Americana, the giant food item served up in a quirky hole in the wall eatery the likes of which your town has never seen. You always wish your town had something like that. You know the place, the place where by ordering you enter into a pact, a pact to finish some form of gigantic, sickeningly bloated over sized food item all the while being cheered on by the rabble (Yes this counts against your 15 minutes). Yeah that's the show.

The show took place in the humble burg of Portland or as locals call it "The" Portland. The center of my interest and laser like focus was a place by the name of Salvador Molly's (Get it? So quirky).  The menu item which captured my attention is called Great Balls of Fire. A ball of great fire consists of a cheese and habenero fritter served with a side of habenero salsa. If you can finish five in five minutes you get your picture on the wall. Sweet! 

Science fact according to the show: A Habenero is 40x hotter than your run of the mill Jalapeno.  So smoke that in your pipe and put it. 

                                                       I totally ate 6 of them. They were 
                                                       so hot Steph briefly looked like a pervy 
                                                       45 year old man to me due to capillaries
                                                       bursting in my eyes. Cringe. 
                                                       (Editors note: I've never been outside the 
                                                          Portland airport)

The Spice must flow....................Just not from our arses.