What's up peeps? We're back from Hong Kong, land of Milk Tea and John Woo. Let's get down to business here. Steph's Auntie took us to an awesome Sichuan restaurant. If you're not in the know, Sichuan is a provence in China and a purveyor of fine, fine spicy eats. If you're not into spicy eats you can certainly stick to the Cantonese menu as it will serve you well. As I've only just recently been exposed to seriously authentic Sichuan I'm still really excited about it. Basically if you get served a plate that is entirely covered in dried red chilies then that's pretty much a Sichuan dish. But it doesn't stop there. That would be way too pedestrian. Remember, these are the peeps that invented noodles. They are not fucking around people! I'm telling you. There also grows in this region a very special peppercorn. It's very much like the black peppercorn that we use without even a thought. The Sichuan peppercorn has a very distinct flavor and smell. You can actually eat them whole. Here's the thing though. It goes way beyond spicy. These things actually numb your mouth. Again, I'm not fucking around. These little bastards are epic! We ordered a bowl of Sichuan noodles, a big plate of dry fried frog and huge menacing 4 lb. crab which was brought over for us to inspect. OMG he was a fucking beast! It was an honor to eat him. Steph was able to order a couple of non spicy vegetable and egg plates to round out the uber spicy. All the spicy dishes were steeped in Sichuan Peppercorns. It was amazing. I couldn't feel my fucking mouth. It wasn't even a hot n' spciy issue at this point. I was oblivious to any heat. Rather my mouth, tongue, and lips felt as if I had been sleeping on them awkwardly. Pins and needles, pins and needles I tell you! You could have performed oral surgery on my mouth and I'd still be smiling. It was that wild. Along with this most interesting of sensations came a jubilant rush of adrenaline that urged, no forced me to keep eating. In fact I ate so much frog that Stephs dad said in Cantonese, "Hey the white boy is eating all the frog." It was very endearing to me. Also, I don't speak Cantonese. Well, I take that back, I can count to three and say white boy. Anyway, Steph can understand the language so kept me up on the gossip. Do you know what the heaping mound of lovely red chilies reminds me of? It reminds me of the ball crawl at Chucky Cheese's when I was a kid. I want to jump into a giant vat of these chilies. One day when I make my first million I will drain a pool and fill it with chilies and have a swim. Of course I'll fill up a non spicy pool as well. I think I'll fill that one with applesauce. I don't 100% know yet though. Carts and horses, carts and horses. Anyway enjoy some photos from Stephs phone cam.
That was delicious!
Live Long and Prosper in my stomach!
The Spicy/ Non Spicy standoff.
This is Steph when not eating Spicy food.
Me while eating spicy food.
The Spice must flow....................Just not from our arses.
Spice Odyssey: Exploring the burning tongues of Saturn
There are four stages, if you will in the Spice Odyssey. These four stages represent how many Scoville Units will either send a person to the Spice Moons and beyond or will have them burning up upon re-entry.
1. Spice Camper: Unflinching in their resolve to never leave the safe gravity of ultra-mildom. Should a fleck of Cayenne pass the frontier that is their mouthes it could set off a wild fire that can only be quenched by loud complaining and derision of those who put forth this ungodly heat.
2. Spice Cadet: Ever the adventurer in their own minds. Spice Cadets, although ill-equipped to handle the rigors of Spice Travel, they will venture with you to the Thai Food Nebula. You'll make certain to ask for the robo-mild curry, but it most certainly will still be beyond their levels of Spicy-G force tolerance. But, how they try, how they try. They will seldom leave orbit and will always attempt to find a spice helmet that fits. The Spice Cadets spirit is to be commended.
3. Spice Invader: A Spice Invader will pillage and plunder the SPice Universe at will. Their reckless sense of adventure often gets them in over their heads. A Spice Invader may for instance, insist on venturing too close to a Vindaloo Black Hole from which their can be no return. "In Spice Space no one can hear you scream." You will often find them in zero gravity restrooms blowing out o-rings.
4. The Overlords, Masters of Spice and Thyme: These creatures are not of this universe. They are consumed by Spice Madness and will stop at nothing to dominate and conquer all things spicy. They have completely obliterated their palates. Never ask a Spice Overlord "is that very spicy?" It's your doom if you do. Curiously, Spice Overlords do not flock together. No, they are far too territorial. If two of these beasts should occupy the same space a great spice battle will ensue until there is nothing but charred wreckage and a single true Overlord. You will notice them by the sweat streaming from seemingly endless pores, and yet they will insist that they are "just fine."
The Official Spice Odyssey T-shirts. All proceeds go to BiBi.
We're Steph n Matt. We do retarded things to entertain ourselves. We have hilarious and cute dogs that we gush about. We discuss their poo on a daily basis, we're terrible. We are on opposite ends of the Spicy Food enjoyment scale. This blog is dedicated to peeps like us who try to coexist in a spicy world.